Sunday, January 24, 2016
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
The Message the Cabal Knows is FACT.
Ꭲ CᎤrᏎ tᎮ CᎠbᎠl Ꮩwn tᎣ ᏍᎮᎣl, tᎮ ᎠbyᏍᏍ, tᎮ Ꭾll ᏪrᎡ tᎮy bᎡᎶng, FᎣRᎡᎥᎡR, Ꭰnd ᎡᎥᎡr, Ꭰnd ᎡᎥᎡr.
TᎮy Ꮻll ᏁᎥᎡr ᎠᎦᎢn cᎣᎺ tᎣ tᎮ Ꮅght Ꭳf Ꮣy, Ꭳr ᏎᎡ ᎱᎹᏂty ᎠᎦᎢn.
FᎣrᎡᎥᎡr Ꮻll tᎮy bᎡ ᎶckᎡd ᎠᏩy frᎣm Ꭰll ᎵfᎡ, ᎢnᏏᏕ tᎮ PrᎢᏐn cᎣmpᎴx, tᎭt ᎢᏍ Ꭲn tᎮ ᏐᎳr ᏍyᏍᏖm.
Ꮉy tᎮᎢr ᎻᏂᎣnᏍ fᎣrᎡᎥᎡr ᏗᎡ, fᎣrᎡᎥᎡr ᏗᎡ, fᎣrᎡᎥᎡr ᏗᎡ, Ꭰnd ᏁᎥᎡr bᎡ rᎡᎺmbᎡrᎡd ᎠᎦᎢn, bᎡfᎣrᎡ tᎮ ᎡnᏘrᎡ ᎤᏂᎥᎡrᏎ.
TᎮy Ꮻll ᏁᎥᎡr ᎠᎦᎢn cᎣᎺ tᎣ tᎮ Ꮅght Ꭳf Ꮣy, Ꭳr ᏎᎡ ᎱᎹᏂty ᎠᎦᎢn.
FᎣrᎡᎥᎡr Ꮻll tᎮy bᎡ ᎶckᎡd ᎠᏩy frᎣm Ꭰll ᎵfᎡ, ᎢnᏏᏕ tᎮ PrᎢᏐn cᎣmpᎴx, tᎭt ᎢᏍ Ꭲn tᎮ ᏐᎳr ᏍyᏍᏖm.
Ꮉy tᎮᎢr ᎻᏂᎣnᏍ fᎣrᎡᎥᎡr ᏗᎡ, fᎣrᎡᎥᎡr ᏗᎡ, fᎣrᎡᎥᎡr ᏗᎡ, Ꭰnd ᏁᎥᎡr bᎡ rᎡᎺmbᎡrᎡd ᎠᎦᎢn, bᎡfᎣrᎡ tᎮ ᎡnᏘrᎡ ᎤᏂᎥᎡrᏎ.
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Manifesting Will 10/8/06
"I will"
This phraze has long been 'just a memory' for me. Something elusive, that was behind the file cabinet of my being. Over the last 10 years however, I have been taking the long journey of rememberance, and now the last few years the aceleration of this event has increased in actuation, now many of the last of the pieces of the puzzle are appearing in sight, still abstract as ever, but cohearant.. One of my many 'frustrations' in life has me being a dreamer. Constantly caught inside the dream of idealism. The realm of the imagination, spinning like a far off galaxy, in the darkness of my head, never making it beyond shadow, the the light of my eyes'.
I will manifest myself, for myself, because of self. I have travassed the sea of ideas, and only mirages have remained. Now, here, this is my time to become, too be, just so.. I will be myself, always, never letting doubt again rule my land, the soil of the heart. My mind is sharp, thoughtfull and wise, but not standing on any soap box.. My body though not what it used to be, is still healthy, vibrantly strong, the mechanism that holds my bright spirit. My emotions intact; though a bit rusty, still feel wide open, embrasing, calm and warm, and caring.
I find myself still without the answers from the questions of childhood, the now being a headache of disection of the brain, for the brains' a'muze'ment, all the while the brain fully knowing that these type answers are never, but only never known. I am at peace with this, as I have no other choice. I can either be willfully ignorant, or willfully interested. I choses not caring, to know, the final answer's.
All this while I have been missing out on alot of life. Trying to peer 450 moves down the board, while still in the opening game. If I had only seen the now, I would have realized I was moving as the Knight, but only my horse was taken from me..
My love, that will come again, I will promise here, now, not to squander, for the price of the ignorant fool is heartacge and solitude. I promise to stand with. Not ahead, or behind, but with. May all the dreams of a thousand memories be fullfilled, if it is the desire and wish of.
I will continue with this path, this direction, to the lands of timeless flow, it will dress me with itself, for I have longed for perception many ages, and with antisipating heart.
Each day I will look upon myself, keeping myself within my 'own' check, for the love of my being, and the beings of others in which I come in contact with.
To others, there perception of reality will at times conflict with mine, with theres. That only means either the angle of the perception is unbalanced, or a repelling force, this is all, and should not be a means of not allowing transmutation of disipline, or refinement within ourselfs. For if we are resisting something, we truely are resisting something within ourselfs, that we have allowed ourselfs not to be set free, ego always is with us, so is the illustion that we are not whole. As if there is a need to become more of goodness, more of someone elses progress down the path.
Each of us are good. Each of us is bad. That definition, is defined, by 'individuals'. However this does not define either as really being bad or good, for that is realative, and the simple fact that this has been argued about for thosands years, I hypothisize proves this point quite nicely.
I will manifest myself, for myself, because of self. I have travassed the sea of ideas, and only mirages have remained. Now, here, this is my time to become, too be, just so.. I will be myself, always, never letting doubt again rule my land, the soil of the heart. My mind is sharp, thoughtfull and wise, but not standing on any soap box.. My body though not what it used to be, is still healthy, vibrantly strong, the mechanism that holds my bright spirit. My emotions intact; though a bit rusty, still feel wide open, embrasing, calm and warm, and caring.
I find myself still without the answers from the questions of childhood, the now being a headache of disection of the brain, for the brains' a'muze'ment, all the while the brain fully knowing that these type answers are never, but only never known. I am at peace with this, as I have no other choice. I can either be willfully ignorant, or willfully interested. I choses not caring, to know, the final answer's.
All this while I have been missing out on alot of life. Trying to peer 450 moves down the board, while still in the opening game. If I had only seen the now, I would have realized I was moving as the Knight, but only my horse was taken from me..
My love, that will come again, I will promise here, now, not to squander, for the price of the ignorant fool is heartacge and solitude. I promise to stand with. Not ahead, or behind, but with. May all the dreams of a thousand memories be fullfilled, if it is the desire and wish of.
I will continue with this path, this direction, to the lands of timeless flow, it will dress me with itself, for I have longed for perception many ages, and with antisipating heart.
Each day I will look upon myself, keeping myself within my 'own' check, for the love of my being, and the beings of others in which I come in contact with.
To others, there perception of reality will at times conflict with mine, with theres. That only means either the angle of the perception is unbalanced, or a repelling force, this is all, and should not be a means of not allowing transmutation of disipline, or refinement within ourselfs. For if we are resisting something, we truely are resisting something within ourselfs, that we have allowed ourselfs not to be set free, ego always is with us, so is the illustion that we are not whole. As if there is a need to become more of goodness, more of someone elses progress down the path.
Each of us are good. Each of us is bad. That definition, is defined, by 'individuals'. However this does not define either as really being bad or good, for that is realative, and the simple fact that this has been argued about for thosands years, I hypothisize proves this point quite nicely.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
The Amazing Thing Is
That hardly anyone else sees the amazing.
Do you see the amazing?
Who is the amazing yo are seeing?
The Divine Ineffable. Do you still not see, when that is all to be seen? Eyes of faith did not mean the temporal eyes. It meant the deeper spiritual connection that all life has innate in all live. This is NOT just mamas. Or organic life at all, but the very rocks cry out, therefore have the same "energy" that composes all things.
The master of it all is the Divine. The Ineffables control is why everything is harmonized and does not go crazy like pin balls at the machine a drunk 12 year old is playing. The anti-gravity numerical value is 137 decimal point long there for is highly organized and functioning beyond measure or imagination considering the same astronomical numbers of variables of operations within the temporal construct that the Divine has set in, and maintains motions and operations of. That is beyond "a miracle".
It is amazing. Glorious. Astounding. Majestic. Impressive. Powerful. Ordained. Refined. Beyond all other things.
This one smothers me with itself. The heart is alive and warmed by the burning embers yet again come to life from the coals that were in the rain. So many things are true. So many things verified yet again from youth. It never ended buy the perception consciously because of the Maya Illusion being so strong instead of the allowance of the Divine back into the heart, whereby the Ineffable has a residence. Like a home, you dont take care of it, the resident moves out.
The material world is passing away. The way of the Indian should have never been left, things will though be much different in a few generations and moons, without the vanity on the wall with hanging necklaces made of diamond gold harvest by poor people slaves in other countries, while the bath room is as big as an entire life.
Therefore I say good bye to the Western Society. There are many doing the same from my generation and younger, and in many countries, which, in a way, proves the effort all these years has been worth in in increasing flow of informational energy to spark light enough consciousness's to grow to a large bonfire. That is why the lie was perpetuated to try and stop this that "i am only one person, I cant do anything" upon the minds of society within the thought programmed matrix that was self enforced by each other, most of the time unconsciously. The wake up is in full process now being influenced by Mr. Revealing. The Avatar shines in the hearts of all, and that is why a Avatar said "that in the last days the love of the greater number would cool off".
I see the "real new world", not the banker politician created plan to enslave the entire planet. I laugh. I cannot stop sometimes from laughing. Like when younger and you almost hurt you are laughing so hard. Its the best comedy in the solar system. That is what it demonstrates for me, is that Humans are wonderful comedians. But that is about it. Bedsides a few real friends I have.
Some are invisible, and some are all online, which now, is maybe 2. Some one said that solitude is seemingly curse that is a blessing. He was right. Knowing thyself, or knowing the Divine, is of the same, for that is what is found. The Ineffable in all if it is views from this perspective. Its actually a communication of energy between each other, as all things are such.
But, the Kings of the Earth have defiled the temple, which is Earth, and therefore the above will become the below. Judgment has already been ruled, the appearances and effect has not "fully" arrived yet.
Yet. Yet. YET......
But all bad things fall, and good things rise, if the correct siting chart is remembered, and where yo are in the line. I am hearing "near the front" from the west. The correct verse was something about "those last being first, and those first being last", and something like that.
I hear clocks ticking. Tick tick tick tick. Other than that I hear War. War drums. War bombs. War depleted Uranium. War water cutting off. War lies called "advisors" like the first time in the sand box. The Savior from the North is being directed by the Ineffable as well. What, the Ineffable only used righteous nations to punish wicked nations?
I just cant believe that all the research and information is not enough to show people that this has been going on since government was invested, from peoples minds, and are being enslaved by 'only' other peoples consciousness, that their bodies act upon, and nothing else. This has all been going on for a very long time on Earth.
Never call them again, and if you do tell them how inhuman they are, and send all the letters of business offers sent to anyone as well. It has always been the snake oil salesmen of society and the bankers that store and loan out all that stolen money via "so called laws", that has nothing to do with Law, but what size jeans they were, and how much money they can put in them.
It always turns to this. Humans always forget, and then fall for the trap by slick lairs, or get coerced into paying through physical intimidation. This is a crazy time we are entering. It has not been like this for an entire great cycle at least. Which is 26 thousands years. Weird shit is happening to many in which already had weird experiences. But not at this frequency, and locations.
Its going to be interesting. Wont be boring from here on out. It will all become more visible, until it cannot be ignored any longer. This is the greatest of times. Reminds me of the warning I gave to that cop behind the fire house for having a flat tire. Judgement is coming. I can say it enough. Judgement is coming. The Great Spirit has had enough. All other things dont matter, and have gone away, which I am grateful for.
To learn from something else happening the precepts of "letting go", and what "attachment" really is.
Do you see the amazing?
Who is the amazing yo are seeing?
The Divine Ineffable. Do you still not see, when that is all to be seen? Eyes of faith did not mean the temporal eyes. It meant the deeper spiritual connection that all life has innate in all live. This is NOT just mamas. Or organic life at all, but the very rocks cry out, therefore have the same "energy" that composes all things.
The master of it all is the Divine. The Ineffables control is why everything is harmonized and does not go crazy like pin balls at the machine a drunk 12 year old is playing. The anti-gravity numerical value is 137 decimal point long there for is highly organized and functioning beyond measure or imagination considering the same astronomical numbers of variables of operations within the temporal construct that the Divine has set in, and maintains motions and operations of. That is beyond "a miracle".
It is amazing. Glorious. Astounding. Majestic. Impressive. Powerful. Ordained. Refined. Beyond all other things.
This one smothers me with itself. The heart is alive and warmed by the burning embers yet again come to life from the coals that were in the rain. So many things are true. So many things verified yet again from youth. It never ended buy the perception consciously because of the Maya Illusion being so strong instead of the allowance of the Divine back into the heart, whereby the Ineffable has a residence. Like a home, you dont take care of it, the resident moves out.
The material world is passing away. The way of the Indian should have never been left, things will though be much different in a few generations and moons, without the vanity on the wall with hanging necklaces made of diamond gold harvest by poor people slaves in other countries, while the bath room is as big as an entire life.
Therefore I say good bye to the Western Society. There are many doing the same from my generation and younger, and in many countries, which, in a way, proves the effort all these years has been worth in in increasing flow of informational energy to spark light enough consciousness's to grow to a large bonfire. That is why the lie was perpetuated to try and stop this that "i am only one person, I cant do anything" upon the minds of society within the thought programmed matrix that was self enforced by each other, most of the time unconsciously. The wake up is in full process now being influenced by Mr. Revealing. The Avatar shines in the hearts of all, and that is why a Avatar said "that in the last days the love of the greater number would cool off".
I see the "real new world", not the banker politician created plan to enslave the entire planet. I laugh. I cannot stop sometimes from laughing. Like when younger and you almost hurt you are laughing so hard. Its the best comedy in the solar system. That is what it demonstrates for me, is that Humans are wonderful comedians. But that is about it. Bedsides a few real friends I have.
Some are invisible, and some are all online, which now, is maybe 2. Some one said that solitude is seemingly curse that is a blessing. He was right. Knowing thyself, or knowing the Divine, is of the same, for that is what is found. The Ineffable in all if it is views from this perspective. Its actually a communication of energy between each other, as all things are such.
But, the Kings of the Earth have defiled the temple, which is Earth, and therefore the above will become the below. Judgment has already been ruled, the appearances and effect has not "fully" arrived yet.
Yet. Yet. YET......
But all bad things fall, and good things rise, if the correct siting chart is remembered, and where yo are in the line. I am hearing "near the front" from the west. The correct verse was something about "those last being first, and those first being last", and something like that.
I hear clocks ticking. Tick tick tick tick. Other than that I hear War. War drums. War bombs. War depleted Uranium. War water cutting off. War lies called "advisors" like the first time in the sand box. The Savior from the North is being directed by the Ineffable as well. What, the Ineffable only used righteous nations to punish wicked nations?
I just cant believe that all the research and information is not enough to show people that this has been going on since government was invested, from peoples minds, and are being enslaved by 'only' other peoples consciousness, that their bodies act upon, and nothing else. This has all been going on for a very long time on Earth.
Never call them again, and if you do tell them how inhuman they are, and send all the letters of business offers sent to anyone as well. It has always been the snake oil salesmen of society and the bankers that store and loan out all that stolen money via "so called laws", that has nothing to do with Law, but what size jeans they were, and how much money they can put in them.
It always turns to this. Humans always forget, and then fall for the trap by slick lairs, or get coerced into paying through physical intimidation. This is a crazy time we are entering. It has not been like this for an entire great cycle at least. Which is 26 thousands years. Weird shit is happening to many in which already had weird experiences. But not at this frequency, and locations.
Its going to be interesting. Wont be boring from here on out. It will all become more visible, until it cannot be ignored any longer. This is the greatest of times. Reminds me of the warning I gave to that cop behind the fire house for having a flat tire. Judgement is coming. I can say it enough. Judgement is coming. The Great Spirit has had enough. All other things dont matter, and have gone away, which I am grateful for.
To learn from something else happening the precepts of "letting go", and what "attachment" really is.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
It comes now.
The critical event horizon has been passed, we are now downward spiral into the unknown octaviaon.
The myriad of possibilities of what we face is challenging to grasp hold of, and focus in on.
The rats continue their race on the treadmill of their destruction, glorifying the ride with cheers all the way.
Hitler rises again in many chapters, and all will live free but only after great sorrows.
Great sorrows never felt before in collective memory of many great years.
The clock has been ever ticking, Humans just dont appreciate hearing what the doom is like, they need to experience it instead.
Great Wars still further come.
Heaven itself is going to have a baby again, will we get caught in between the spoiled sun, and the newborn?
Time only tells.
The myriad of possibilities of what we face is challenging to grasp hold of, and focus in on.
The rats continue their race on the treadmill of their destruction, glorifying the ride with cheers all the way.
Hitler rises again in many chapters, and all will live free but only after great sorrows.
Great sorrows never felt before in collective memory of many great years.
The clock has been ever ticking, Humans just dont appreciate hearing what the doom is like, they need to experience it instead.
Great Wars still further come.
Heaven itself is going to have a baby again, will we get caught in between the spoiled sun, and the newborn?
Time only tells.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Walking around river..
"He is right", I understand now.
Consiousness spinning, moving into one, and then another. Millions of moving dreams, flow through streams, of the past starry nights.
Bleeding self, is bleeding others, until theres' no blood left. Falling like leafs from the trees, it never stops to look around while in fall.
" I know ", but not as thought.
" I see myself, and Im sorry. "
However myself be slanted, I still see you, and remember, " Me ", as the waves of time pass me by, and tell me a ryme.
I feel, but oly through infliction of self, for I became numb long ago. Self contanied, like the 'turtle, for that is my real nickname, that it mostly wars because of shame, while spinning in this game. The game of life we have created, in this universe in which we live.
There are many collective observations, perceptions of everything 'known' in its universal perception.
" That is one of mine."
See.
Its that simple.
Not knowing, knowing, everything and nothing, all at the seame time.
That is what everything in which we know, while yet knowing nothing.
Paradox.
Attachement is obtained by threading to the other parts, of whatever posistion in the sphere of itself.
Whatever self is found in it.
Viewing anthing, in which is 'needed' for self, is another fallacy. But the act of not is yet another still.
The center is stable,
yet so hard to, 'center'.
Fears manifestet, then projected, between the 'two', what will they do?
Center.
It depends not with the other, only something in which we individually can only do.
It reallydoes not depend on ay other for what we can, or will do.
I t is best the to disocver self.
Ad then to fully know, it is in our awo hands to grow.
To then see the rainbow makers.
Hard journey.
Log winded times.
It comes and goes.
The swinging pendulums of polarity.
The heart beat of the one.
The one, the all.
As we ride along a shelf, in the double helix of life.
And worried about the cokcrouches in the house, while on the floor, looking for the bracelet behind the washing machine.
Oh my, so far in the distant parth, I hardly made out the shadow.
"Lucid"?
Dreams that have faded, softly sinking from the dust of the mind. The only memory is the preset.
Forgetting our past.
"Remembering" our future.
From the days of old, before understanding was on paper.
.
Before we started to 'forget'.
Now, however, we, again are re-reaching that point of, 'knowing'.
But we do.
Need others.
The universe supports itself as a whole, by the many "shelfs" in the spiral of the helix.
All are connected, and have the same current fro flow through it, as the whole. Change in one shelf, affects the whole, as in the human helix, change affects the entire spiral for good, or bad, as what we percieve as such, being part of the spiral , and the whole, thus making while of what it is.
Center.
Self into the whole. Forming the bond through self, letting go.
It requires 'self', nothing else, but all then. For without the other selfs, we, or I could not exist, without its fitting into the spiral as a segment.
I continue to loose focus, sight of it all, then remember and know, only to forget again.
Time and circumstances change quickly. Rapid pace of all htere is, as the spiral looses itself too singularity.
How many times does it happen. How many?
Remember. Never forget.
Know. The time sits out there, coming, as our shelf flows to that time, on the great spiral of life.
Consiousness spinning, moving into one, and then another. Millions of moving dreams, flow through streams, of the past starry nights.
Bleeding self, is bleeding others, until theres' no blood left. Falling like leafs from the trees, it never stops to look around while in fall.
" I know ", but not as thought.
" I see myself, and Im sorry. "
However myself be slanted, I still see you, and remember, " Me ", as the waves of time pass me by, and tell me a ryme.
I feel, but oly through infliction of self, for I became numb long ago. Self contanied, like the 'turtle, for that is my real nickname, that it mostly wars because of shame, while spinning in this game. The game of life we have created, in this universe in which we live.
There are many collective observations, perceptions of everything 'known' in its universal perception.
" That is one of mine."
See.
Its that simple.
Not knowing, knowing, everything and nothing, all at the seame time.
That is what everything in which we know, while yet knowing nothing.
Paradox.
Attachement is obtained by threading to the other parts, of whatever posistion in the sphere of itself.
Whatever self is found in it.
Viewing anthing, in which is 'needed' for self, is another fallacy. But the act of not is yet another still.
The center is stable,
yet so hard to, 'center'.
Fears manifestet, then projected, between the 'two', what will they do?
Center.
It depends not with the other, only something in which we individually can only do.
It reallydoes not depend on ay other for what we can, or will do.
I t is best the to disocver self.
Ad then to fully know, it is in our awo hands to grow.
To then see the rainbow makers.
Hard journey.
Log winded times.
It comes and goes.
The swinging pendulums of polarity.
The heart beat of the one.
The one, the all.
As we ride along a shelf, in the double helix of life.
And worried about the cokcrouches in the house, while on the floor, looking for the bracelet behind the washing machine.
Oh my, so far in the distant parth, I hardly made out the shadow.
"Lucid"?
Dreams that have faded, softly sinking from the dust of the mind. The only memory is the preset.
Forgetting our past.
"Remembering" our future.
From the days of old, before understanding was on paper.
.
Before we started to 'forget'.
Now, however, we, again are re-reaching that point of, 'knowing'.
But we do.
Need others.
The universe supports itself as a whole, by the many "shelfs" in the spiral of the helix.
All are connected, and have the same current fro flow through it, as the whole. Change in one shelf, affects the whole, as in the human helix, change affects the entire spiral for good, or bad, as what we percieve as such, being part of the spiral , and the whole, thus making while of what it is.
Center.
Self into the whole. Forming the bond through self, letting go.
It requires 'self', nothing else, but all then. For without the other selfs, we, or I could not exist, without its fitting into the spiral as a segment.
I continue to loose focus, sight of it all, then remember and know, only to forget again.
Time and circumstances change quickly. Rapid pace of all htere is, as the spiral looses itself too singularity.
How many times does it happen. How many?
Remember. Never forget.
Know. The time sits out there, coming, as our shelf flows to that time, on the great spiral of life.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Different angles of self
Human interaction. The many facets of such. All thoughts, feelings, words, that are articulated in millions of nuances, that never end..
Our word meanings that we have created vary as well, being abstract definitions for what we perceive as our individual realities. However, it is all the same, just a different angle of the same spectrum..
In life I tend to not 'fully' articulate myself to others, which in turn then lead to Confusions. This is common today, being the main reason why Humanity is suffering such at this moment..
In life I tend to not 'fully' articulate myself to others, which in turn then lead to Confusions. This is common today, being the main reason why Humanity is suffering such at this moment..
:For instance:
I left a comment on a friends blog recently, and might not have fully defined myself to my friend, hence this friend not fully 'understanding' what I was trying to speak. Those few moments of thought, that take pages to express in form..
This is one of my 'guilts', that I have, because I do not live up to what I perceive in myself to the point of expectation that I have for, whatever it may be that is important to me..
We all have these things within ourselves, and not achieving a desire, a hope, a struggle, a dream, can bring forth guilt...
:Love:
This is one of my 'guilts', that I have, because I do not live up to what I perceive in myself to the point of expectation that I have for, whatever it may be that is important to me..
We all have these things within ourselves, and not achieving a desire, a hope, a struggle, a dream, can bring forth guilt...
:Love:
If a Person, whomever they may be, is truly loving, then the effort will win the heart of that person, just that one cares brings joy to hearts, and is the action of that feeling within...
Guilt Humans have created, to create fear and loathing in ourselfs, and others, to fill our 'unknowns' that we 'all' have, no matter the strength of those foundations. We cannot become omnipotent in ourselves, or others, for then we give way to the illusion..
Guilt Humans have created, to create fear and loathing in ourselfs, and others, to fill our 'unknowns' that we 'all' have, no matter the strength of those foundations. We cannot become omnipotent in ourselves, or others, for then we give way to the illusion..
This is my largest burden as of now, the desire to know fully, the reality of everything.
I fool myself, as I have done many times before, always leading to the same place, more questions...
:It does matter:
If something burns within our soul, we should never deny it, for then we deny ourselves, of ourselves.. Manifest, yourself, in the way that is free and natural to your soul. Never let any word or thought touch this place, for it is an illusion that the self gives way to, for words and thoughts of another can never touch the place of purity where some hearts do stand. And if we so happen to have such purity in our heart, realize there is no limit then, and we are free!!
It is all of our own choice's...
We are ourselves..
We care...
We are loving....
There is no blame.....! :)
For the difference between a wicked person and righteous, is the simple fact that the righteous one will care about how he treats others, and the effects these actions have on any, even though knowing that this struggle will continue all ones life, the struggle to live up to the idealism's of perfection, that 'we' all create in our hearts and minds, and a wicked person will not care of antother, only themselfs, they are ignorant of love. It does not matter which ones are right or wrong, we dont know that. What matters is that we care enough to feel this love for others and ourselves, and attribute the grand dance of the Universe to something higher than ourselves, for out of fear of being so 'haughty' not to. Or is this action being haughty as well, both are, there is no suitable answer, it is all a long straight line, of a never ending paradox. The dance of nothingness, and everything, all paradoxically the same...
I mostly have written this for myself, as a reflection of my feelings..
We care...
We are loving....
There is no blame.....! :)
For the difference between a wicked person and righteous, is the simple fact that the righteous one will care about how he treats others, and the effects these actions have on any, even though knowing that this struggle will continue all ones life, the struggle to live up to the idealism's of perfection, that 'we' all create in our hearts and minds, and a wicked person will not care of antother, only themselfs, they are ignorant of love. It does not matter which ones are right or wrong, we dont know that. What matters is that we care enough to feel this love for others and ourselves, and attribute the grand dance of the Universe to something higher than ourselves, for out of fear of being so 'haughty' not to. Or is this action being haughty as well, both are, there is no suitable answer, it is all a long straight line, of a never ending paradox. The dance of nothingness, and everything, all paradoxically the same...
I mostly have written this for myself, as a reflection of my feelings..
Sunday, May 28, 2006
The Shift is Coming
Realm Dynamics
[The principles of Realm Dynamics were inspired by the Cassiopaeans, expanded by the Nexus Seven, refined through numerous discussions with friends, and confirmed by experience.]Introduction
An ancient hermetic axiom states that everything is mind, everything vibrates. Since each living thing is uniquely conscious, each living thing carries a unique vibratory signature. The soul broadcasts a rich spectrum of vibrations, which through the principle of resonance attracts a corresponding spectrum of experiences. Souls of a common frequency share common realms of experience and tend to cross paths in life.
This is the study of realm dynamics, how vibrations influence experience, and how experience influences vibration. The simplicity of correspondence between soul vibration and personal experience betrays the astounding nature of its implications. For instance, realm dynamics explains how our daily experiences are the end effects of hyperdimensional processes, why people with victim or predator mentalities attract each other, how dissonance between individuals attracts synchronistic triggers for confrontation, how learning a lesson ahead of time prevents it from manifesting as experience, why a pure heart protects one from danger, and how personal parting of ways and the upcoming Shift are different degrees of precisely the same phenomenon.
Vibration
When we speak of vibration, we are really talking about waves with amplitude, frequency, and phase. Amplitude is the strength, frequency the rapidity of fluctuation, and phase the alignment or timing of a wave. For a wave to exist and propagate there must be a source and medium, that which generates vibration and that which carries it outward. For instance, a guitar string initiates vibrations that travel through air in the form of alternating peaks and troughs in air pressure.
Soul vibrations are no less tangible than sound waves, though their nature and medium of propagation are more exotic. They employ the same medium through which light and radio waves travel but are made of potential waves rather than electromagnetic waves. This means the soul vibratory field (also known as the aura) consists of fields and waves far subtler than electric or magnetic fields, which is why conventional instruments cannot detect the aura. Nevertheless this field is rife with patterned energy and information—the very stuff of thought and emotion.
Realm dynamics is essentially about quantum physics, or at least how quantum principles allow consciousness to interface with physical reality. Quantum physics calculates probable futures and consciousness selects which one to experience. But whereas conventional science says quantum effects are limited to the subatomic scale, here we acknowledge that perhaps quantum phenomena are just as active in the macroscopic world and actually drive the progression of our experiences.
Because quantum processes determine not only what we perceive but also through what we perceive, we are largely unaware of their influence. The situation is similar to swimmers floating down a river at equal speed, each swimmer relatively stationary to the other; by looking only at each other they may conclude they are in still water, that motion in the water is only evident if they look down and observe the tiny eddies swirling about. Conventional science only looks downward and fails to realize that a massive quantum current is what moves us through time. But how exactly does consciousness manifest experience?
The Fractal Hologram
At each moment in time our universe is but one slice of a complex web of infinite possibilities that is unchanging and eternal. Technically this multiverse may be termed the “state vector” or “wave function” of reality. It is a fractal hologram that zooms forever into the future. The fractal itself does not change, it is only our mind that moves through and thereby generates for itself the illusion of space and time. To understand this process, one must understand how holograms work.
Holograms encode information by recording the interference pattern between two waves of common frequency, one wave being uniform in consistency and the other having its phase altered by the information to be encoded.
The traditional way of making a hologram goes as follows: a laser beam is split in two, one half shining onto photographic film and the other bouncing off an object before shining onto the film. What is recorded on the film is an interference pattern between these two beams, encoding the topography of the object. After the film is developed, the same laser illuminating it will be modulated in phase and intensity by the pattern and will reproduce the encoded information, projecting from it a visual replica of the object. The nature of the image projected forth from a hologram depends on the angle, intensity, and frequency (color) of the laser.
Frequency determines what information may be accessed. If the hologram is recorded with a red laser, a green laser will fail to elicit an image. Multiple images can be encoded into a hologram, each called forth by a corresponding laser color.
The angle and region of illumination decides what particular information from the range available is selected for projection. In the case of holographic film, the projected image rotates with a rotation in the laser’s angle of incidence, or changes to a different image if the laser shines upon a part of the film upon which was recorded a different object. Angle and position are both types of phases, so it is phase that selects from a given range what image to bring forth.
Lastly, intensity of illumination (amplitude of the wave) determines the degree of fidelity in the projected image. The greater the amplitude, the more accurate and complete the decoded information.
The holographic process has metaphysical parallels. The mind of the Creator corresponds to the laser source, archetypes correspond to the objects recorded, and the matrix of existence corresponds to the photographic film. It follows that we as individual units of consciousness are the illuminating laser. The laser’s color is the frequency of our emotions, its phase our thought patterns, and its amplitude our level of intent.
Just as laser color determines the layer of accessible holographic information, so does our emotional nature determine the archetypal range of accessible experience. Of this range, our thoughts determine the particular phase angle from which this archetype is experienced. And the strength of our intent determines how accurately and vividly it manifests.
This is no metaphor; the universe is indeed holographic. But it is also fractal as briefly mentioned. A fractal is infinitely complex and allows inward or outward zooming without limit. Each zoom level inward is a subset of all previous zooms. In our current state, we are zooming into the fractal and perceiving this motion as progress into the future. And naturally the future is a subset of all previous probable futures, though in truth time is illusory because all levels of the fractal exist simultaneously. Once again, this fractal is holographic; we illuminate portions of it in accordance with our emotional nature, thoughts, and intent.
The rest of the Version 0.2 can be found here.
Friday, April 07, 2006
Hole Of Night-Vision of some future time.
Day , its wind force full and dire, emasculating itself against the hard soul, spreading wing with flight unknown. Night lonely, how, wow, hole it is, falling from the ledge at night, as it walks quietly away at morning. Dusk said to the morning " we are the same, equal in our harmony, being hot nor cold. Let us then come together, forsaking the day and night, for the harmony of ourselves! The morning replied:
" How is it I shall say yes when we are so far apart, and you follow the night, and I follow the sun? I cannot account for the stubbornness of morning, for her way is a gleam of perfection, only to fade away into vexation, the purposes of such the worlds pages testify to, under much duress"?
Birds talking to another in there unseen dance, there world in which we think we know, as if speaking to them will change there minds. The more the ground seeps of its frustration, will there be anyone to observe its flow? The moth foretold the humming birds secret in the forest of worry, only to be enlightened by what was viewed as fear. In the forest that the man and woman lived. The cloud drifting away was of no concern for the beggars of con, for there balance was not in the stalk, but the cane. Many people came to the place, the one being in view of the hawk, flying to greet the arm of its trainer, whom was walking by the river of shadows on a sunny day. As this one walked farther, a piece of the sky feel into the river, changing its color from green to grey. The holes that was left in the sky was filled with ether, induced from the selves of the heavens for a little time, the hole will open again, letting all life transfer back to the stars.
When the scarlet lights finds its way again,
please come wake me.
" How is it I shall say yes when we are so far apart, and you follow the night, and I follow the sun? I cannot account for the stubbornness of morning, for her way is a gleam of perfection, only to fade away into vexation, the purposes of such the worlds pages testify to, under much duress"?
Birds talking to another in there unseen dance, there world in which we think we know, as if speaking to them will change there minds. The more the ground seeps of its frustration, will there be anyone to observe its flow? The moth foretold the humming birds secret in the forest of worry, only to be enlightened by what was viewed as fear. In the forest that the man and woman lived. The cloud drifting away was of no concern for the beggars of con, for there balance was not in the stalk, but the cane. Many people came to the place, the one being in view of the hawk, flying to greet the arm of its trainer, whom was walking by the river of shadows on a sunny day. As this one walked farther, a piece of the sky feel into the river, changing its color from green to grey. The holes that was left in the sky was filled with ether, induced from the selves of the heavens for a little time, the hole will open again, letting all life transfer back to the stars.
The desert still came to pass,
water calling out,
but not knowing wherefrom.
On the other end of the valley, the morn went, to go inside the forest and shine there awhile,for even the sun chases the moon away from its place, due to its wrath. Forest shining luminously, both in the realm and the overlapping others. Nighttime scares away care, for the sake of itself alone, wanting to reside forever in forgotten dreams that never had a name.When the scarlet lights finds its way again,
please come wake me.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Monday April 3 2006-"7/12/2002"
Memory, memory of what all I have been. Another comes and goes in the night, voices of the same past, drifting on the clouds again to solitude. I am no longer again lonely, for I have never really been even though I was. The great distance apart, from the forgotten ways of ourselves.
The many times in which I think I free myself from this place, it fortunately does not forget me, and comes to my side. All in which to say, remains in constant variation of themselves. Young boy stole, karma coming back around the hill, for things in which I once stole. I ask " How long can it continue, even though I have resolved within, and have become my friend again.
I see beyond the horizon, into the dreamlike future, to the place of where I will be, the edges of tassel tangle from the cliff of consequence, forgetting for a time of what is becoming. If only listening to itself was a habit, then problems will be solved, at least for the time.
What measure is the acceptance of the understanding of these things within?
How long will the weary traveler continue to bear the mule of selfishness?
Will one create it, or give up completely?
The river is aqua, clear, and slowly moving from this distance south, an array of color veils the sun ray, and the mileage add in the mind, for time has a large rate to travel through the gate.
Im thinking I found her, but then always wonder. I will be patient, waiting while she feeds, feeds of my energy of love, love without 'bounds' of limits, unconditional. I will enjoy 'showing' by illustration of reality, me, giving what I have inside, and expecting nothing in return. I live again, but only now I know how to do so. It will be a mild summer, then late into summer, it will be hot, slippery men of shadow, playing like they do with our weather in the sky. I wonder, wonder of the future like all, filling my head, ready to spill out into life; oh yeah that is what this is, into the fastness of the sea.
'I do not know
of the man in the realm-bag, perhaps
he is the only person in the vacuum, and has not changed
since there is no external circumstances in life to induce such change.'
Crumble away broken hay, chaff of flunder, you ones said word softly spoken in lies, this is no surprise, hide away like you do, for the exception looks you always in the mirror. Salty air of ocean, your crown of waves going along the mask of your deep, point the direction with the wind, make the tops of pines sway all of the worlds problems away.
Nature, without
Nature,
WE,
are doomed to an extinction of dust,
our progeny.
What happens in life matters only if the good is sought in self, in others, and all. The bad matters only for the fact that it builds character, endurance, self.
The self becoming from hardship, happiness, and just being.
Make self become what 'self' wants itself to become, for only self is stopping self. Without all of these we do not become.
I am speaking to myself, as I have always been, the only way is known, now do.
Im thinking I found her, but then always wonder. I will be patient, waiting while she feeds, feeds of my energy of love, love without 'bounds' of limits, unconditional. I will enjoy 'showing' by illustration of reality, me, giving what I have inside, and expecting nothing in return. I live again, but only now I know how to do so. It will be a mild summer, then late into summer, it will be hot, slippery men of shadow, playing like they do with our weather in the sky. I wonder, wonder of the future like all, filling my head, ready to spill out into life; oh yeah that is what this is, into the fastness of the sea.
'I do not know
of the man in the realm-bag, perhaps
he is the only person in the vacuum, and has not changed
since there is no external circumstances in life to induce such change.'
Crumble away broken hay, chaff of flunder, you ones said word softly spoken in lies, this is no surprise, hide away like you do, for the exception looks you always in the mirror. Salty air of ocean, your crown of waves going along the mask of your deep, point the direction with the wind, make the tops of pines sway all of the worlds problems away.
Nature, without
Nature,
WE,
are doomed to an extinction of dust,
our progeny.
What happens in life matters only if the good is sought in self, in others, and all. The bad matters only for the fact that it builds character, endurance, self.
The self becoming from hardship, happiness, and just being.
Make self become what 'self' wants itself to become, for only self is stopping self. Without all of these we do not become.
I am speaking to myself, as I have always been, the only way is known, now do.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
I Ching-April 1, 2006-4:21a.m.
I Ching Reading
8. Pi / Holding Together [union]
Wilhelm Translation, 1950
The waters on the surface of the earth flow together wherever they can, as for
example in the ocean, where all the rivers come together. Symbolically this
connotes holding together and the laws that regulate it. The same idea is
suggested by the fact that all the lines of the hexagram except the fifth, the
place of the ruler, are yielding. The yielding lines hold together because they
are influenced by a man of strong will in the leading position, a man who is
their center of union. Moreover, this strong and guiding personality in turn
holds together with the others, finding in them the complement of his own
nature.
THE JUDGMENT
HOLDING TOGETHER brings good fortune.
Inquire of the oracle once again
Whether you possess sublimity, constancy, and perseverance;
Then there is no blame.
Those who are uncertain gradually join.
Whoever come too late
Meets with misfortune.
What is required is that we unite with others, in order that all may
complement and aid one another through holding together. But such
holding together calls for a central figure around whom other persons may
unite. To become a center of influence holding people together is a grave
matter and fraught with great responsibility. It requires greatness of spirit,
consistency, and strength. Therefore let him who wishes to gather others
about him ask himself whether he is equal to the undertaking, for anyone
attempting the task without a real calling for it only makes confusion worse
than if no union at all had taken place.
But when there is a real rallying point, those who at first are hesitant or
uncertain gradually come in of their own accord. Late-comers must suffer the
consequences, for in holding together the question of the right time is also
important. Relationships are formed and firmly established according to
definite inner laws. Common experiences strengthen these ties, and he who
comes too late to share in these basic experiences must suffer for it if, as a
straggler, he finds the door locked.
If a man has recognized the necessity for union and does not feel strong
enough to function as the center, it is his duty to become a member of some
other organic fellowship.
THE IMAGE
On the earth is water:
The image of HOLDING TOGETHER.
Thus the kings of antiquity
Bestowed the different states as fiefs
And cultivated friendly relations
With the feudal lords.
Water fills up all the empty places on the earth and clings fast to it. The social
organization of ancient China was based on this principle of the holding
together of dependents and rulers. Water flows to unite with water, because
all parts of it are subject to the same laws. So too should human society hold
together through a community of interests that allows each individual to feel
himself a member of a whole. The central power of a social organization
must see to it that every member finds that his true interest lies in holding
together with it, as was the case in the paternal relationship between king and
vassals in ancient China.
THE LINES
Six at the beginning means:
Hold to him in truth and loyalty;
This is without blame.
Truth, like a full earthen bowl"
Thus in the end
Good fortune comes from without.
Fundamental sincerity is the only proper basis for forming relationships. This attitude, symbolized by a full earthen bowl, in which the content is everything and the empty form nothing, shows itself not in clever words but through the strength of what lies within the speaker. This strength is so great that it has power to attract good fortune to itself from without.
Six in the second place means:
Hold to him inwardly.
Perseverance brings good fortune.
If a person responds perseveringly and in the right way to the behests from above that summon him to action, his relations with others are intrinsic and he does not lose himself. But if a man seeks association with others as if he were an obsequious office hunter, he throws himself away. He does not follow the path of the superior man, who never loses his dignity.
Six in the third place means:
You hold together with the wrong people.
We are often among people who do not belong to our own sphere. In that case we must beware of being drawn into false intimacy through force of habit. Needless to say, this would have evil consequences. Maintaining sociability without intimacy is the only right attitude toward people, because otherwise we should not be free to enter into relationship with people of our own kind later on.
Six in the fourth place means:
Hold to him outwardly also.
Perseverance brings good fortune.
Here the relations with a man who is the center of union are well established. Then we may, and indeed we should, show our attachment openly. But we must remain constant and not allow ourselves to be led astray.
Nine in the fifth place means:
Manifestation of holding together.
In the hunt the king uses beaters on three sides only
And forgoes game that runs off in front.
The citizens need no warning.
Good fortune.
In the royal hunts of ancient China it was customary to drive up the game from three sides, but on the fourth the animals had a chance to run off. If they failed to do this they had to pass through a gate behind which the king stood ready to shoot. Only animals that entered here were shot; those that ran off in front were permitted to escape. This custom accorded with a kingly attitude; the royal hunter did not wish to turn the chase into a slaughter, but held that the kill should consist only of those animals which had so to speak voluntarily exposed themselves. There is depicted here a ruler, or influential man, to whom people are attracted. Those who come to him he accepts, those who do not come are allowed to go their own way. He invited none, flatters none—all come of their own free will. In this way there develops a voluntary dependence among those who hold him. They do not have to be constantly on their guard but may express their opinions openly. Police measures are not necessary, and they cleave to their ruler of their own volition. The same principle of freedom is valid for life in general. We should not woo favor from people. If a man cultivates within himself the purity and the strength that are necessary for one who is the center of a fellowship, those who are meant for him come of their own accord.
Six at the top means:
He finds no head for holding together.
Misfortune.
The head is the beginning. If the beginning is not right, there is no hope of a right ending. If we have missed the right moment for union and go on hesitating to give complete and full devotion, we shall regret the error when it is too late.
Also see:
James Legge Yî King #8
I Ching Plus Hexagram Notes #8
Chinese Text for #8
Thursday, March 30, 2006
She Comes at Night
As silky strands of memories it passes my mind, the time when I had my wife in my arms, caressing her soul and body with my words and hands, feeling her hear beat of true love. If only I had known then what I know now, this pain would not reside in myself like it does, I miss giving her love.
But my love was tainted in immaturity, and selfishness, I longed to be filled by another due to part being unknown about me. I was in no position to be a husband, much less a self. My curse will be solitude for my error. This world offers me no other, I have looked, much to loss of energy in myself due to further bad decisions with woman, my desperate heart, aching to love again like it has.
Now, there is a shell around the center of love in my heart, I contain what is now my reality, my fate, and I am prepared to wander still, alone the rest of my days. I do still have the flame within, but keep it in from the rain, and darkness that follows, I am only human. The human need to love and gain love is as old as we ourselves, and sharing the Royal bond between a man and wife, in the true union of the Spirit of Love, is something in which all of Humankind has been trying to define and articulate for ages, never to completely achieve the goal.
I see her from afar, busy, distracted, obsessed in the realm of herself, floating on the breeze of space and time. I catch up to her, only to find her footprints in the clouds, darting of then to another place this time, only to have me run along after her again, this tempting chase, following her scent, I find her everywhere, and nowhere. It is just an illusion after all, and I am chasing my imagination, or is her soft flesh there somewhere, slilently being offered as a cup of healing?
I trodden not on the anticipations of my hearts imagination, for what a cruel vessel of myself I would be. I only dream of the soft rain, while cuddled up to my wife, smelling her hair, as it blends the particles of the watery cloud, with her sweetfully attracting pheromones that she emanates when where around one another, her eyes say the desire and love she has for me, while knowing mine offer the same to her.
I again change the subject of my mind, and think of the wind outside, this really only furthers the problem, I need to rest.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Transcending through self
A question is only a mirror of the questions that the answers bring. Our of fear and complacency we will argue not, for the sake of the rest between the two states, fear of the unknown questions that all answers bring.
Outside; at the place of the pictures where I grew up, smoking the death of addiction. The light of small town glows on the bottom layers of the clouds, strange feeling permeates the night, the unknown again knocks at my soul, this time the depth and gravity outweigh all before, and will after. I utter sayings in my ear of the wisdom of ago, hoping that I will listen, but more out of desperation. I will not. I can not, out of desperation. That would be disrespectful of such a small soul, as we all are in reality. I come back inside, empty of what I originally wanted to say, it evaporating from the mind only to be filled with another something.
When did we all forget, forget the knowledge of childhood, and the ways of true innocence? Have we really forgotten, or has vanity taken hold in the many? What are we? What is 'really' known? Or were we at childhood more grounded in wisdom of truth than the beleaguered adults we have become? But how is this so when children are so ignorant of the 'real' reality? Do we then gain true wisdom and truth from ignorance? How can the truth be compatible with ignorance; which is not knowing something that is true? Is it true then that truth has no part that is ignorant? If that where true, then truth being ignorance would signify truth as being false, which leads one back to the beginning of 'what is truth'. What of children learning everything from adults? That means that everything we know came from what we are now ' adults', and I am more uncertain of what truth is than ever before in my life, and there have been many older adults whom seem to feel as well that the more one ages, the more uncertain everything becomes. And this is what children really learn, a continuing cycle of questions leading to answers that eventually lead back to questions. There is to much abstractness right now, even for me, I need to clearly see more, before my mouth bubbles forth.
Outside; at the place of the pictures where I grew up, smoking the death of addiction. The light of small town glows on the bottom layers of the clouds, strange feeling permeates the night, the unknown again knocks at my soul, this time the depth and gravity outweigh all before, and will after. I utter sayings in my ear of the wisdom of ago, hoping that I will listen, but more out of desperation. I will not. I can not, out of desperation. That would be disrespectful of such a small soul, as we all are in reality. I come back inside, empty of what I originally wanted to say, it evaporating from the mind only to be filled with another something.
When did we all forget, forget the knowledge of childhood, and the ways of true innocence? Have we really forgotten, or has vanity taken hold in the many? What are we? What is 'really' known? Or were we at childhood more grounded in wisdom of truth than the beleaguered adults we have become? But how is this so when children are so ignorant of the 'real' reality? Do we then gain true wisdom and truth from ignorance? How can the truth be compatible with ignorance; which is not knowing something that is true? Is it true then that truth has no part that is ignorant? If that where true, then truth being ignorance would signify truth as being false, which leads one back to the beginning of 'what is truth'. What of children learning everything from adults? That means that everything we know came from what we are now ' adults', and I am more uncertain of what truth is than ever before in my life, and there have been many older adults whom seem to feel as well that the more one ages, the more uncertain everything becomes. And this is what children really learn, a continuing cycle of questions leading to answers that eventually lead back to questions. There is to much abstractness right now, even for me, I need to clearly see more, before my mouth bubbles forth.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Brave Love-To my Mother.
I carried my pain for along time
it eating me away slowly day after day
bitter flesh eating away
for I seek the better day.
Here she comes healing the way
filling the void with indescribableness
what was never, is now.
Most take for granted
though for me it is brand new.
I should learn from there error.
Others speak of what is there unknown
my known being my present reality.
In a world where all is perceived, all is not
the many trample what is, for the sake of ego
passage I will, to the distant parts of self
filling what was lost, connecting the fine fibers
that the nothing of time spread to the four winds
knowing one day it would be again.
The form of which never known
it being wondered in years as I have grown.
I feel weak
soft spirit then cradled
her fallen flesh of ago.
Love truly does end all woes
dries all tears
reveals all fears, realizing they are not that great.
Love gives meaning to to otherwise meaningless things.
For many things I have failed, for this love I did not know
true meaning being a figment of others imaginations
it is not that they not try
only that they could not give in the way needed
from source.
Originality.
The great healing begins, change is upon me once again.
Good, I am glad.
The mighty Brave once went to the refreshment of his mothers bosom
only to return refreshed with her love, ready to go out to battle again.
receiving warm intimacy that only these actions can bring.
To revive
To become.
out of what is.
it eating me away slowly day after day
bitter flesh eating away
for I seek the better day.
Here she comes healing the way
filling the void with indescribableness
what was never, is now.
Most take for granted
though for me it is brand new.
I should learn from there error.
Others speak of what is there unknown
my known being my present reality.
In a world where all is perceived, all is not
the many trample what is, for the sake of ego
passage I will, to the distant parts of self
filling what was lost, connecting the fine fibers
that the nothing of time spread to the four winds
knowing one day it would be again.
The form of which never known
it being wondered in years as I have grown.
I feel weak
soft spirit then cradled
her fallen flesh of ago.
Love truly does end all woes
dries all tears
reveals all fears, realizing they are not that great.
Love gives meaning to to otherwise meaningless things.
For many things I have failed, for this love I did not know
true meaning being a figment of others imaginations
it is not that they not try
only that they could not give in the way needed
from source.
Originality.
The great healing begins, change is upon me once again.
Good, I am glad.
The mighty Brave once went to the refreshment of his mothers bosom
only to return refreshed with her love, ready to go out to battle again.
receiving warm intimacy that only these actions can bring.
To revive
To become.
out of what is.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Love unseen until it is seen dirfting away.
I have become a man in which need spend only a few moments around a women to 'know' if there is anything left to exsplore, this sad fact has left me single, and lonley for much time now. I have really never needed the company of another, but as I age I have disdain now for solitude. I still find it amazing how many look in bar's and other trains of society, when the wind they never catch. But really, where is there to go to meet single people anymore, no one hangs out at places in which you never think them to be anymore, and life seems to be nothing but a slipstream of nothingness, that is best ignored, than embraced or drawn close too. In passing women throughout the daily maze of life, I look into there eye's, and feel the presence of soul, seeing if there is resonation, for I resonate with women of calm, warmth, and intuitiveness. A balance of self, for self, and then exstending this to another; strong, when strength is needed, but when not a gentle flower so molded in beauty, that words become pointless, imagination only conceiveing it. There have been many times; out of fear or self conscienceness, that I have looked away from eye's wanting to look at mine, saying ' hello there', speak to me, for I want you to', and yearing to hold my stare, as I turned it away. I am tired of my heart being treated as a childish prank, but still yearn, to love, and be loved by a wife again. But to most I am damaged goods, and that is fine for they dont deserve me anyway. I want to write another poem of 'love', for it really existing within again. I have written about speaking, for then the opportunity of 'saying' such things in which is bubbling at the heart are not said, then the moment passes, eventually ceases within itself. And the what-if is born, and it is a reasonable reasoning, but not for long, and I will let my mouth free. On the other hand, speaking the things in which are desired to be spoken will progress the state of desire, resulting in an outcome of the desired desire. Blah blah blbiahb ieoipvwub aiub we;nbaw nfbw wl, what I am trying to say is that once again I have seen a face, eye's to soul, spirit, of another that I think of when her picture is not in my eye, the minds eye then imaginates the thought path tree into the distant future, as I do everything in which I think about; both of which are my downfall and briallance. Slide moves agross screen, of the doorway that preludes his thoughts, showing him a journey in the springlife grasses of daylight bosoms's, a fander within the realm of its captivity it soothes the wounds of desperation, of the coming infliction of universal tithings. 'But what of those families, did there line not travel the road of ten warrior's, or am I mistaken at the forgetfullness of your heart?' No, I remember, it was not that long ago, when the seven bridges fell, and this wind cometh stronger by day, into the place of refuge, the last of the strengths, for the time for mightyness is here. 'The way of her is pleasant, but is it strong to handle the wind within, the vast space of permeation that ebbs out, then flows'? I do not know, for the dream is waking, and the sort that disquiet the mind, elucidations lead me to the palm of the hand, feeding there in scent for a time, then moving below the cloads larking within the realm of realization, the mere thought of it I deny, for the habit of, has become in me, hopeless fool that I am, a fool for believing in such things as love, mere mortal fallacy for our crutchfull existence. 'Oh now, the times of being hard on self are over, the period of morning has passed, let rest what should rest, for the past is the stalker in the night, leave darkness alone, return to the light." The light does not suit me anymore, for the light is now hot on the skin, melting away what hope still exist, and now the desert awaits, teasing me with water from it's mirage of dirt, seeping into the imagination, only to root the brain of desire anylonger......... Far removed is another conversation, this time taking place between a mother and son, twice removed from them is another, but a couple, talking about the memories of ago, while sitting in a cold room, laying one down to go to sleep. Three times is a child, born of love, but dying in hate, his only wish is that it come sooner. 'You see, vison is useless unless is it is used, not just glanced at. At present you exspect the worst, then this is what you will get. Emerging from the half dream of conscienceness I realize that instead of turing the glance I will make one. Create future, not that It is fully known, but because there is nothing left to do, but create.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
The cocooned gift that helped me grow into who I am today, this is the place I grew up.
, and the wind did speak saying " What is it that you seek high in the clouds when the answers remain on land, is it not that destiny only finds those seeking it, or has forgetfulness seeped into, corrupting the innocence that was never there. It strikes upon the cold night with thunderous voice, commanding reason coming forth to support its claims, but the time of long winds has been forgotten, and the storm is invisible to the unseen". I still feel its power of rush, animating the leaves that day, as if the swirl of universal energy had settled up my forehead, and stillness yet remained. I inquired further asking ' did the leaves ever permit the ground a breath, or did they burn with the fire of night'? "No they permitted the leaves breath, but for the sake of there branches in the tree, only falling on there command, seeing how there life comes from them. The ground however is solid, yet soft, and is more massive than the mere tree, each grain being infinitely enumerable in quantity and space. However the ground tends to crack and break without the flow of enlightened water, or the "nectar of the ground", for by doing so will free your progeny, for they are the "Heir to THE Thought", this by reason of your thoughts produce feelings, which in turn produce action's, thereby molding there world either with action or inaction". I see. So what then if there is no sustainment and cohesion of the ground? " Then by the reasons of such the roots of the tree will grow into all the ground, filling all space on the ground with its bark, roots extending to the center of the ground, through and through its veins will go". As I walked out of " four valley walls " I could feel the crisp night sparkle into my skin, the sky musky, with sharply torn sleeves of golden cotton, raying through the prismed sky.............
Friday, February 10, 2006
Journey Of Light Through Forest
A long time ago, of thousands of years, as girl found herself at crossroads. Her violation came from a man unknown, unseen, but a shadow. Not only was it her violation, but also her son's, whoms' seed had just sprout and taken life. During the long journey that was but a few months he grew, dark turning to light, the every increasing glimpses of conscienseness revealing itself to reality and then back to self, until conscienseness knows itself. Self awareness then starts to ask, which in turn leads to conclusion. Feelings develop into thought, even if it is 'what is this feeling', of course the thoughts are very abstract at this age. Going on knowing not what reside in her womb, a changed, now 'woman', in the twinkle of a stary night life was changing, into dreams that never were, hindered by actions of a dynamically constant universe, where there is no justice in random occurrence(that is not to say that in particular circumstances I do not believe in predetermined occurrences, whether by human or any other influence.), and the river of life's currents are fully felt. Then one day, probably in her room, she knew, the whole sum of that truth looking her in the eye, its presence being felt within much space-less expanse of itself. It soon happened that many changes came again, and choices where made both from perfection and imperfection. A new world was forming, dim light, sudden movements, and laughter started to form and be realized. The swaying pendulum of fluid embracing, warming the egg like the fluffs of chickens. Great sadness and pain of heart, 'it was him growing in her', 'it was her growing in her'. All the while the boy grew, and simple wonder started to enchant. Yes, the movements and glow of light during day where mezmerising to him. She had spent the most of her life independent of another, and now she was faced with being the dependences of another, and this worried her so. Memory of the cruel hands of the past around her; these same hands that would support her, and be the 'parent's' of her and her son, she could not be bear, and knew that her son would have to grow eventually without her, and this thought drove her mad for a time, the tearing within of 'what to do'.
Picture-EA
Picture-EA
Friday, February 03, 2006
I wish upon a blade of grass
I wish, that I could mentally project my conscienceness into the conscienceness of others, seeing as I do, exactly what exists in thought, the thousand fragments of abstractness that forms together into the mental and emotional perception that takes place in all realms of our beings. But the same is thought in everyone, hoping that another will 'understand', completely, wholey. In reality we all do understand, for the simple fact of all feeling this way, the individual circumstance's of such really not mattering, for the core in all is the same, and humans in reality go through nothing that has not 'already' been through. Epiphanies happen over time, small realizations accumulating, then one day this 'fact' becomes clear, and present all around existence, it suddenly rising to full sharp clear perception, and we give it a name epiphany. Words being just another desperate attempt at articulating self, which is ceaselessly sought, never gaining full measure of itself. So should the articulator stop in there journey, accepting out of defeat of non-attainableness? Articulation never ceases, and the mass whole is accumulative universal evidence. Change is coming, clouds will deliver there anticipated arrival, for the dust of past has covered many gems, frustration only produced from the hand of the desert, the bearer having to refill the well of self, from self, this being no small and dainty task, and one than has been anticipated for many years. The wind speaks of long ago, telling its wisdom to the clouds below. Water moves in time, from the same place as the wind, but from farther away, its essence revealing dilution of matter itself, ageless energy that resides in smooth flowing form, a drink that refreshes the soul. Time spent in the realm of imagination, seeing its frutation emanate from all around, soothing the wanderer from many rainless days of travel. The only thing that matters in the end is that justice will take place, and love will prevail, the details are unimportant any longer, for that is a endless debate of personal preference, based on personal belief. I do believe that the universe did not create itself, and that the mechanics at work are far to complex to ever ' fall ' into place on accident. I do believe in right and wrong, and know that there is core principles of each that are universal, and will not say another's is wrong because of the uncertainty of my own, for at the basic structure of all there is not solid proof of any, and then one creates 'faith' in what one believes. Period. In the end, everything will work out the way it should and was purposed to. This might be perceived as a passive gesture of words, and in ways it is, the "Webster's Ninth Collegiate Dictionary" defines the word passive as ' 1. acted upon by an external agency 2. receptive to outside impressions or influences (c) 1. lacking in energy or will 2. tending not to take an active part (d) 2. not active or operating'.
We sometimes gracefully bow our believes in respect for the other, only for the simple fact of being secure with these things, not having to prove ourselves right. And sometimes one is viewed as being 'passive' for this. We all have gathered what we know from others before us, we must be the ones that take it home with us ourselves, thinking, reasoning, on the accumulative information, and when this is done we are not really being passive at all, for we no longer ' act and are influenced by outside impressions. We become then what is conjured within our beings, we become because of it existing before we did, just not in that very specific individual way. All is good and right, for what we see is only an illustion, and every deep thing is tucked away, awaiting the time of revealing, and truth being known. Ourselves are not of supreme importance, the happening of this event though is, because of its universal impact. Right will conquer wrong, truth will wipe away deception, and love will destroy hatred and confusion. Ones in which want the continuation of the present turmoil; the blood, greed, deceptions, and sacrifice of the innocent, will fade from the earth like the dinosaurs, the earth will be used, for it was not formed for nothing, and core purposes still exist. Yes some will go to other places in the realm of existence, but the earth will stand, for if not then a purpose has failed, and nothing set into 'grand motion' will fail, nothing will stop the desire of the former, for this ones hand, nothing comes back to empty and failed, and withered in purpose, it will come back active and prosperous.
We all are passive, and influenced by the collective.
Do I trick myself yet again, to grasp to something in which I really dont know? Some might think me blind, but that is the often misconception of undiluted thought, pure thought that is not passive.
We sometimes gracefully bow our believes in respect for the other, only for the simple fact of being secure with these things, not having to prove ourselves right. And sometimes one is viewed as being 'passive' for this. We all have gathered what we know from others before us, we must be the ones that take it home with us ourselves, thinking, reasoning, on the accumulative information, and when this is done we are not really being passive at all, for we no longer ' act and are influenced by outside impressions. We become then what is conjured within our beings, we become because of it existing before we did, just not in that very specific individual way. All is good and right, for what we see is only an illustion, and every deep thing is tucked away, awaiting the time of revealing, and truth being known. Ourselves are not of supreme importance, the happening of this event though is, because of its universal impact. Right will conquer wrong, truth will wipe away deception, and love will destroy hatred and confusion. Ones in which want the continuation of the present turmoil; the blood, greed, deceptions, and sacrifice of the innocent, will fade from the earth like the dinosaurs, the earth will be used, for it was not formed for nothing, and core purposes still exist. Yes some will go to other places in the realm of existence, but the earth will stand, for if not then a purpose has failed, and nothing set into 'grand motion' will fail, nothing will stop the desire of the former, for this ones hand, nothing comes back to empty and failed, and withered in purpose, it will come back active and prosperous.
We all are passive, and influenced by the collective.
Do I trick myself yet again, to grasp to something in which I really dont know? Some might think me blind, but that is the often misconception of undiluted thought, pure thought that is not passive.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Seeing The Whole
Stillness prevading, streching outward all around, the colors from my movement enrap me three dimensionally, the brightness increasing, of whiteness, nothing but it, conscienceness all around this space, the point of my physical body, and the future place that is already in memory, brought forth there by the collective resonance of infinity. Sprits of frequency pass, and echo off the boundries that define them, ever so reaching into an endless circle of dance, with itself as the rhythm that generates its energy alone , and feeds it to the most distant of its parts, which is the same as its center point, for it is all in equal balance and harmony. Shift is going to come, a change in the balance because of the injected inbalance of the actions the majority have allowed to happen. All that one wants to say, say, for after it is not said, it can never be said. That moment has passed, and freedom from the self one has not let fly. Life is fog, then light, of not understanding, then understanding, then learning something 'new' and not understanding again. For has not everything been thought through long ago? Oh thats right, most poet's, scholars, philosophers existed before the TV, video games, computers, cars, the phone, corporations that need slaves, small business's that are slaves, dumb children(in the sence of analytical and cognitive ability) but we allow them to distract with illustion, because reasoning is not 'encouraged' in schools, low self esteem that seems to be imprinted upon our subconscience at every glance, moral irresponsibility, and not holding people that govern others accountable to the people they govern, who they really work for anyway, immoral conduct in the younger generations, that lead to the spread of disease and moral breakdown, barbaric views of oneself and spirit, etc, all these things over time collecting in the collective conscienceness a very heavy load of negative energy. What effects on the surrounding enviroment does this have, and the disruptions such actions have on the whole? This is excluding the intentional manipulations that involve space time, energy dipoles, magnitism, electromagnetism, gravity, antigravity, electrical, and atomic processes that are carried out behind our eyes. There is much in which the human race has been hid from, for them knowing of such truth would uninslave mankind from the veils of deception, no longer being able to control us by the many various methods in which they use. Illusion. Being illuded is a complex but simple algorithm in which has been perfected, although erroneiously 'perfected' over time, they have and will kill, and the masses will run to there bloody arms for the gifts of promise only to be slain with a laugh, a sneer of the face, a growl of the lungs will fill there air. Like rapids of waters change is coming, coming from the winds of change that strike with hot blasts on a cool winter day. Do you hear it, the groan of the collective, the noise that utters forth, the weak grasp that they have now, they are fearfull, looking out past the shaded window to the street, to see whom there eye''s might greet. The falling apart of there power, by the enlightened ones infusing there knowledge into the collective constantly. There time has come, the universe is going to speak, by mere voices upon a rock, expanding the whole, energy vibrating through space and time, arriving at the predestination of its intentions. We are one, there is no other, the stars, the hologram in which we all reside, matter takes shape, energy passes over, light reflects and refracts, matter disconnected but connected, the hologram is born, for what we see that is existing is not as we see it at all. First the eye reads the 'reflection' of light, then flips it, overlaping it together with the corresponding input, sending it deep within the brain to piece the small bits of code together, arranging them in the mind as a 'hologram'. What does this really mean? That there are textures and colors in any object that we dont discern, and that what the image really resembles before it is processed might look like picaso's work, we do not really know, for we have not seen other than how we perceive now, and what is matter anyway, since there has been proven that large amounts of space exist in between molecular bonding, so every physical item is really nothing but open space. Our frequency plain of perception is very small as well, and there might be much to see by atuneing to these unperceived frequencies. There are old acient accounts of Tibetan Shamans who where able to 'phaze' there bodies out of our normal frequency perception into another, or one in between one another, using only there minds. There is much history in the Orient of 'Masters' who where able to defy commonly presumed undefiable laws of physics, being able to mold matter to there will. Unimaginable things before they are imagined are usually ridiculed and disbelieved. There are numerable examples in history of things being deemed untrue and then over time proven and then accepted as common knowledge. There is much we dont know, that when we realize new things, and understand them, then we begin to learn, for learning always what one already knows is not dynamic learning, just regurgitating knowledge that is already existing within. And this is not deemed by another, it only happens within our own conscienceness, and cannot be dictated by others, for they are on there own quest for enlightenment. This does not mean that one will not take parts from others to fill ones own whole. Despite there being all individual circumstances that make up our own 'self awareness', there is the continual input to the collective, and the drawing of knowledge from the collective, there also being a constant, the thing in which is true, and all the others that are false, ideas that is, understandings that we each view as our reality, what really exists and what does not, this being a huge array of individual tweaks and adjustments, being brought to our attention by living daily as we do, thinking on, dealing on, being consumed on things further away than channel 8, and deeper into the pages of our book, the collectives book, and the puzzle with all the pieces strewn out before us, hopefully at early age starting on the puzzle, for it only gets more complicated as time goes on. The time is arriving for the grand event, the event which will firmly establish what is fiction, and what is reality. No matter what the individual believe is, the truth is going to be revealed, and matters being settled on this 'human' subject for a long time to come. People of guilt will pay there prices, the innocents bondage will be released, the happy will rejoice, for the dawn has finally come into the night, and there will be no fright any longer, we will know. The people that hold the power are afraid, that is why they tighten there grip on us all, but it goes much farther than them; whomever they are, and wherever they reside in time, they are only a small stumbling block, a distraction, what is important is what your oneness with the energy of everything is, and what state is it in, for outcomes come from knowing these things, whatever it may be, for its is all really the same, believes that is, just different spin, slant, perspective, different way of saying or perceiving something, but it really being the same. If one studies Taoism, Buddhism, Christianity, and Muslim religions, there is many common parallels, and mostly seems to be a use of differing metaphorical usage as well as the use of complex proverbial examples, not to mention laws, principles and codes. Then there are the far removed Indian tribes of that time period, and there ways of life are generally the same as the before mentioned cultures. There was always principles that reflected honor and integrity(at some point), a believe in a god form, and the respect for its creation. And all these differing points of view have moved people to kill one another for the sake of them, it is common logic that the measure of the worth of a persons believe depends entirely on the fruits of that believe, for what worth is believe without action, and by this action one proves that ones believe is truly existing within. In the efforts of humans to be 'right' we have slaughtered our children, tortured our mothers, burned our fathers, and raped our procreation of wisdom and pease. Some might say they have never done such things, but the truth is when any do it to another, all have done it, and all have had it done to them, for we are all connected, and share the same energy source in which gives us life, all our particles coming from the ages of ago. Really then when one stands by and complacency allows these things to continue, this one is as guilty as the one of the actions, for we are from the time of long ago, and we do have the power to affect, affect anything in which our self aware conscienceness can perceive. As many have observed, words themselfs have power, and imprint themselfs into the collective energy balance in which we all draw from. Does polluting our well with this negative energy seem logical, for then it is particlelized into the stream, going to all that drink from it. Hence, if words have this power what of the actions behind those words, these are really articulations of what is in the conscienceness, and on into the realm of existence of the whole, thereby having a larger effect, for it is then amplified in itself. For instance, what of a popular new design or theory, within the self of the creator of it is its power, and the knowledge being evident, but once directly injected into the 'whole', or collective, it is amplified of itself, and whether it is bad or good is evident by the effect manisfitation, revealing the original beginning of this 'reality' of conscienceness. Concepts of the wise, that they do not even understand, for understanding is a ceaseless motion in time, and it really being that, a motion, the mechanics of the universe in constant flux, everything attached to that being in the same flux. All the manisfestations of conscienceness, individual states comprising the whole, and as being active in this state, constantly being connected to it, whether perceived as being a good or bad circumstance, depending what viewpoint we individually perceive it as, for all can have two sides, no sides, or one side, it is just a matter of 'individual' perspective, only the TRUE reality being correct in the end. Everything that is believed does require other seekers as a template, but in the end, if one takes all that one can into oneself, then examines, discarding some, accepting others, until the sum whole of ones understanding is defined, this puzzle never completing in the cycle, it continuing forever, there waves spreading out into the void, resounding there, frozen, on there journey into the folds of the universe, What happens when a sound wave is formed, it is a wave that travels outward from its point of beginning, during this process it interacts with many other objects in space, these reactions giving way to many 'other' actions and reactions, this process once started, traveling forever, and although the original particle has moved on from the point of beginning in the capacity of our perceptional frequency, it is still active. The same is true of us, and our actions, they having the same affect within the realm of our perception, there actions causing other actions and reactions that will continue in the collective forever. For instance sometimes in relationships people are hurt, and they then might subconsciously induce hurt into the one hurting them because of the original hurt, and this hurt might have happened many years before, and have nothing to do with the person that one is now hurting. Hence these things continue, and never leave the plain of conscienceness once they are induced into it, either magnifying itself in the way of good things or bad. Many cultures long ago called this Gaia; or the 'life force' that actuates everything, everywhere, and worked very hard at aligning there lives to only produce good in respects as to Gaia. It is funny how people take pride in believing something, sometimes feeling like this knowledge is so grand, and that there aura shines with the self identification of these things within self, when really that knowledge come from the collective, and has been shared by all, from the beginning of the beginning. I have felt this, this believing in self thought things in which eventually I had to let go as being false, the internal struggle, and tearing of the self, working to abate the selfish longing in my self, for self, ego, letting go of the hold that is set before us all as our training. Everything taking place as it should, for it is just a journey in which we all travel, different stages all share, being one, for everyone has been at all stages, and really is at all stages, for the reality of it exists in us all, and we cannot divide ourselves from any part of the whole, for we came from the whole, and would be diluting oneself, the journey though is to find it again, for some of that knowledge we have forgotten, and some has been hidden from our view, but it is worth much struggle. Struggle is really power, for it is the revealer of wisdom, for wisdom is not gained by a complacent mind, nor one in which does not need to ask any questions. We seem to struggle with getting past others not believing the same as we, when the ultimate truth is love, to love, compassion, to have these things in large amounts is really the only truth, for not matter the believe, the epidimy of it all is love, and compassion, these being the most profound truths of all. To love all, everything, every bad circumstance, for loving the good is easy, and the animals do not mope from there circumstance, and who would want to be the beast in the field, or the small ant, working to and fro like it does everyday, all day, not I, I say. Growth comes from a struggle within, for the butterfly does not emerge, unless the caterpillar makes great effort does it not? Like all, I await, in some form, for what I know to be change, to be freedom, from the ignorance that enslaves us all, this metamorphication taking place as often, or unoften as we allow it.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Space Shadows
Once in awhile as the moon revolved around, there was the shining of brilliance up the ground, it being hollow now, of the life that resode in and upon it. Beast of the field have spread there excrement upon green leaves in the spring, only to die an unhappy death. Blood left woven upon the fabric of "what was", now has entirely different symbolism for the mind, its disdainful view upon which it sees, this view being not without cause. As it where the numbness of it, its wretched remembrance ingrained upon us without remorse. The notice of discernment is rebuked for being so, and goes on its way down the path of one, only to find where it began. Leaving the soil unfettered is a venture of the future, for which there is no stopping, where will it find us as individuals, and as a collective? Does not one see what is truly real, or has the sap of deception molded the eye's shut? There once was solutions, but they have all been proven false, holding mere pebbles in the hand of the cravas. I feel as "Fabian" did, running from the "nothing" in which consumes everything, it having no pity for time itself. His horse feel prey to the "sand trap", will we? I speak my words to anyone, whomever you may be, the ones looking for a resonation in self. I have for most of my life not shared what I wrote, and always seemed to appear to be the quiet one, the one having nothing ever to say, this being made evident by others tone, mannerisms, actions,words,spirit, etc. I do not like to candy coat my words either, for what point is there in communicating unless what is "really" felt is communicated, this is one of the problems that exist today, people leave others feeling like it is all well with them when it is not. The hiders in the dark, that do not want to face themselves with the truth of themselves. The air is heavy with toxin, we breath it anyway, the rancid people and there rancid output never go away, they just multiply and consume. I wrote much about my thoughts specifically on the subject of the world situation, but then closed my browser, and any should wonder why I use paper and pencil. Honestly there is not much left in life to be excited about, and there is something coming in the night, for things pass, but the" powers that are" want to enslave us all, having all the control. Everyone seems to either not care, is ignorant of the facts, or love the idea. There are many other facets of believes that people have, but the truth of it all still eludes us. I want to slip away to the long forgotten place of our existence, as if everything will be just fine, and the mountains will not show there wrath as they will, but that is living in the fantasy, the ideal dream that has been thrown from the heavens with rebuke, only to find us in the shallow tomb. Apart from the fact that the ground has cried out, and that the dusk settles with tension, there are still signs of light bearing forth from the darkness. From the most distant parts of the universe it will come, to teach us who we are again, to fix the innate ability of ours to destroy, and corrupt. As the grains of time slip through the hole of emptiness into the infinity of nothing, then all will be gained, all will see the illusion melt from conscienceness in a brief moment, a suspended form of truth, set hanging between our foreheads with absoluteness and clarity. ' Im in search for happiness, sometimes, to blind to see. In all that search for happiness, sure means misery.'-"RRT5"
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Beautified Turmoil
Idealism, something in which has haunted me for a long time. The mind always imaging greater things than which we are, hoping to achieve only a percent of the original imagination. Of course it fails us at every point, never fulfilling the illustion we present ourselves. I see my Mothers point, and I am glad her face lights up when she is around. It is only natural and right, and am very thankfully. This is of greater remorse for me, for not only has my life amounted to little, but here is the woman in which gave birth to me still enduring, enduring as well, a larger load. Of course we all make our ' decisions ' in life, these things causing us either greater joy, or greater sorrow. Can you tell where mine have left me mostly? " I laugh at myself as I write this", and see humor where there is none, inventing the fallacy for the sake of self. See I do contradict myself sometimes. When she holds me she feels a " hollow stone ", yes I have become what I have written about, what I was hoping not to become, what I saw around me, the fear of losing care and joy, losing love for myself of others completely, the thing in which I condone the most and hate, I have become. This is how I feel, it cannot and will not be sugar coated, and pretended feelings be projected and displayed, just so things flow like ones want them to. I have not lost love altogether, I though Im serious, for these are serious times, and ones in which I trust I love, and the others have to gain it, for the days of even "my" grandfather are over, when your word was all you needed in a business arrangement. I know this because of him being that way, doing business with people by word, for they knew his word was solid, and if they did not live up to there's, he would have words with them. Now everyone is suspect, suspect of being a dark heart, one with bitterness and spite, there words being the actions that prove what is in there hearts and minds. I do not want to be friends with these ones, for what would that say about myself, that I condone there darkness, there mental and emotional effects that are inflected without any care of there consequences. In certain ways this is what Im afraid of, the thing in which I hate humanity for I feel creeping into me. It takes energy to sustain self from these influences, and mine is running out. I can either become something other than what is starting to take place, I can let it take place, or I can die. Of course idealisticly I would the first, but in doing so might expend all the energy I have anyway, and the motor is cold, the oil not being changed in awhile, and the battery is not turning over. "Oh you can do it", yes I know that, but do not feel that way, and do not know where to get the feeling of " wanting to do it " anyway anymore. Yes(now specifically directed), I suppose "my" feelings where hurt, but that is not important any longer, for I know, and hurt feelings just stem from selfishness anyway, what is important is the present, always the present, for it is the revelation of future, and the storyteller of the past, always. Is it my perception of time, or time itself that seems to be increasing at a faster rate everyday, or is it the imprint that the collective of humanity leaves on space time. I don't know, but my perception of time seems to have increased over the last 10 years by about 30 percent, and now it is just flowing along like a fleeting river, instead of the mellow stream it used to be.
Monday, December 05, 2005
Contentment Of Love
3/25/05.. look into my eyes of contentment, there folds of time revealing the future dreams of love, let winds of desolation subside, dark night wash into the ocean, vast horizon's meeting at the zenith of morning. Our Life's exude the pleasure of one another, but only for a moment, for then we are wisked away to the clouds of enchantment, feel my breath, it is the breath of hope spoken with a promise. Doubt not fill your mind, for you are mine, and for what is mine I cherish throughout all time. A sage spoke many words to me in a dream , telling of wisdom from long ago, her words resounded in my ear's for awhile, then I awoke knowing I already knew these things heard. Sand beneath our feet when our two hearts meet, the past dissolving with no aftertaste on the palate, for there remembrance's have been forgotten by the present. The plane of enlightenment streches beyond our understanding, to a place that is not known. Have you been there? If not you will. Music escapes me, only to find its way back again, dreams pervade me after the long night of darkness, returning to me as if they never had left. Do you realize what you do for me? I hope that you do, for articulating it would be cumbersome, and require many pages my love. The morning sun is already hot, or is it my heart that heats me so? I search for a refreshing drink of water, but realize my search will go as far as your bedroom where you lay. Show me your sad song of the night, so that I may replace it with a happy melody and a smile of the heart. The vultures of sadness hunt our souls you know. Let them never find us, for we will hide in the crag of time for awhile, until they die from this earth of self pity and heartache. A dark light exists in many people's eye's, let this light never enter our iris's, only let brightness exist there, beckoning others to try to find it as well. Pull the waters from my soul to sip upon, for the well is full, and constantly replenishing itself. If ever it should run dry, cry a tear too fill it again, for tears from your soul will always fill me. The light of this morning epiphinized my being into a state of calmness, the calmness oozing into my soul like the hands of dakylight streching across the land of morning. The dusk settles upon us from worlds away, this stardust reminiscing our minds of our formers, letting its particles enrich us, or dissolve. The good days comes at a price, that of which is never known, but only anticipated, this of course is known, but quickly forgotten by us all. Is this so bad though, or is it ever more reason to treasure these good days? I myself secretly yern for this ideal world, for I think I could appreciate good day's without the bad. Misinterpretations of reality still haunt me, they show there head from time to time, to remind me that my knowledge is incomplete, and my heart is yet still learning.