Basking in the revelation.
(My artwork)
Peace fills my soul again, soothing the cracks of discontent with its warmth. Peace again finds me after the harsh day of desert. My mind is corrupt from this imperfect flesh that it resides in. Paranoia constantly seeks me, to defile my pureness, to distract me from this great event in my life. I try to consider others at present, but find no care too. Everything is ok, just as long as I can hear there voices, to know that there are others who truly understand me fills me with much elation. I do not forget the family I grew up with completely, but only for awhile, and then they return to myself. I hope everyone understands, but make no apologies, for this is our day. The vultures of stress threaten to break my new found happiness, but I shoo them away with my strength of spirit, and fortitude of mind. Im 28 years old, and have known my natural family for about a week now, but the astonishment of how we are so much the same still boggles me; the mannerisms, thought process, heart condition, etc. It is all but a dream, one that I will not awake from. Im very fortunate that my entire natural family welcomes me to themselves with joy, for I would do the same, and this verifies who I am in ways I can only comprehend. I have brothers, flesh that has come to be that shares my makeup, my essence, I have always wanted this to be so in another man. Articulating the exact description of how I feel at this moment would require much space, but there are so many who I need to tell, that do not know at this time. I wish all could truly share my feeling with true joy, but the idealistic self of me is always hopeful to the point of absurdness. If I needed to I would drop everything in my life for this moment, because it is really worth that much to me, and again I make no apologies, for I am just in my reasoning. I can feel all of there joy being infused into me through space and time, this making me more powerful and weighty in the universe. I have always felt a connection to her, but now it is sharp and clear, cutting through darkness like rays of light. Just knowing what power there is behind me, makes my ' chest swell with pride', and allows me to face the day knowing there are others I can fully relate with. I write these words from the bottom depths of my pureness and sincerity, knowing that they travel out to touch the ones that know them too. My inner spring runith over, not knowing where to go but everywhere, soaking in the hardened withered dry ground that has longed for water. So many words are lost due to the inability of my hands, my mind being patient with my hands though, and inventing new words to fill there forgotten place. I want to encapsulate this feeling forever in myself, but know that there are much better times ahead, and wait for them with eager anticipation. I consider myself to be very humble and lowly in mind; this is my greatest strength and weakness, for I sometimes let people walk all over me. I see this to in my mother, but also know that when we have had enough of people's offences then a terrible force comes out of us that washes everything away from before us, a storm of anger that not many people can even imagine. Of course this is the last resort, but one in which we are not afraid to use if needbe. Maybe I should not be so presumptuous, as this entity only exist in myself, but I dont think that it does only. I am calm in the present moment, most people will call me calm, but I am not always such. I hide the darker side of myself, for if others knew it they would run with might. I though am at peace.
Peace fills my soul again, soothing the cracks of discontent with its warmth. Peace again finds me after the harsh day of desert. My mind is corrupt from this imperfect flesh that it resides in. Paranoia constantly seeks me, to defile my pureness, to distract me from this great event in my life. I try to consider others at present, but find no care too. Everything is ok, just as long as I can hear there voices, to know that there are others who truly understand me fills me with much elation. I do not forget the family I grew up with completely, but only for awhile, and then they return to myself. I hope everyone understands, but make no apologies, for this is our day. The vultures of stress threaten to break my new found happiness, but I shoo them away with my strength of spirit, and fortitude of mind. Im 28 years old, and have known my natural family for about a week now, but the astonishment of how we are so much the same still boggles me; the mannerisms, thought process, heart condition, etc. It is all but a dream, one that I will not awake from. Im very fortunate that my entire natural family welcomes me to themselves with joy, for I would do the same, and this verifies who I am in ways I can only comprehend. I have brothers, flesh that has come to be that shares my makeup, my essence, I have always wanted this to be so in another man. Articulating the exact description of how I feel at this moment would require much space, but there are so many who I need to tell, that do not know at this time. I wish all could truly share my feeling with true joy, but the idealistic self of me is always hopeful to the point of absurdness. If I needed to I would drop everything in my life for this moment, because it is really worth that much to me, and again I make no apologies, for I am just in my reasoning. I can feel all of there joy being infused into me through space and time, this making me more powerful and weighty in the universe. I have always felt a connection to her, but now it is sharp and clear, cutting through darkness like rays of light. Just knowing what power there is behind me, makes my ' chest swell with pride', and allows me to face the day knowing there are others I can fully relate with. I write these words from the bottom depths of my pureness and sincerity, knowing that they travel out to touch the ones that know them too. My inner spring runith over, not knowing where to go but everywhere, soaking in the hardened withered dry ground that has longed for water. So many words are lost due to the inability of my hands, my mind being patient with my hands though, and inventing new words to fill there forgotten place. I want to encapsulate this feeling forever in myself, but know that there are much better times ahead, and wait for them with eager anticipation. I consider myself to be very humble and lowly in mind; this is my greatest strength and weakness, for I sometimes let people walk all over me. I see this to in my mother, but also know that when we have had enough of people's offences then a terrible force comes out of us that washes everything away from before us, a storm of anger that not many people can even imagine. Of course this is the last resort, but one in which we are not afraid to use if needbe. Maybe I should not be so presumptuous, as this entity only exist in myself, but I dont think that it does only. I am calm in the present moment, most people will call me calm, but I am not always such. I hide the darker side of myself, for if others knew it they would run with might. I though am at peace.
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1:53 AM
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